The Secret
by FlickerInTheDark
Summary: What if Cosette just told her father about Marius? ONESHOT
1. Chapter 1

A/N: What if Cosette just told her father she met Marius?

She first saw the man in the streets. She was on her usual walk with her father after mass. Mass ended at 9 but it wasn't until 11 they were home because they would walk and give money to the poor.

She was giving a franc to a small boy when she saw him. He had been talking to some girl when their eyes had met. Cosette felt a slight flutter, as no man her age had ever looked at her with utter awe. But too soon her father said, "Come along Cosette." He was saying in his rushed voice and they sped off.

Cosette was not struck with love but she was feeling as if she wanted to know this man before. His lovely curls and his freckled face burned into her memory, she would never forget him. She would love to speak to him but when her father told her hey had to leave they left swifter then she could comprehend. Over the years she would just follow his instruction without thought. But now it was truly a shame. But she knew even if they hadn't rushed off her father would not have permitted her to speak to a random stranger.

That night after a small dispute she went into the back garden. In Paris private back gardens were rare but their current home did. It was overgrown but in early summer everything was fresh and green. When she had an argument with her father she would either retire to her room or go to the garden for some fresh air. The arguments never lasted long and her father would always apologize over a cup of tea. But now she just wanted space.

She was wearing her nightgown and robe, which her father thought improper, but in this moment she didn't care. She knew this was reckless but she was only going to be out for a moment and the garden was next to an empty alley.

She sat down on an old stone bench and contemplated. _Perhaps it was wrong to question papa. After all he usually know what is best._

Suddenly she heard a small rustle. She stood up and heard a voice.

"Please mademoiselle, I do not mean to frighten you," the voice said. It was soft and warm. She felt she would know this voice if she saw it. Soon the speaker was fully over the low wall and she saw him. It was the man from the street.

"Monsieur," she said softly.

"I saw you earlier and I thought I had died and went to heaven," he said.

"Oh?" she asked.

"Yes. Oh god for shame I do not even know your name. Dear mademoiselle, won't you say?" he asked.

"Cosette," she knew this was risky. She had never given her name out before.

"Cosette. Such a lovely name," he said dreamily.

"Forgive me but what is your name?" she asked shyly.

"Oh, god! How foolish of me. I go to boarding school that teaches manners and here I am forgetting something so simple," he said blushing, "Marius. Marius Pontmercy."

"it is a pleasure to meet you sir," Cosette said. She had never talk to anyone besides her father. She was basing everything she said from books she had read.


	2. Chapter 2

Such conversations had been going on for a few weeks now. But all this time Cosette felt guilty. She had never kept such a secret from her father. She was going behind his back. _I am truly a terrible daughter. How could I ever keep such a secret?_

One evening on one of Marius's visits, he found Cosette weeping.

"My love," he said rushing over and kneeling down, "What is wrong?"

"Please Marius do not call me your love," she said quietly.

"Why not? Have I offended you in some way?" Marius said puzzled, "Please tell me and I will make it right. Please."

"It isn't you. It's just I cannot keep going behind my fathers back. I cannot keep seeing you if it means hiding you," Cosette said looking up.

"Is he cruel?" Marius asked. Cosette laughed which made Marius smile.

"Cruel? Him? No Marius my father is the dearest father anyone could have. Has given me everything," she said.

"I think you must tell him. If he is as dear as you say, he will understand," Marius said.

"You do not understand, I am his daughter. He wishes to keep me safe and for him to know I have been seeing you alone would make him question what else was missing. He would be guilt stricken I am sure," she said in a rush, "I would ruin him." Cosette had always lived a private life. She had only ever been with him.

"Cosette. If you wish it so I will leave. If it makes you feel terribly to see me in secret I shall go away till such times as it is appropriate. Your pain crushes me," he said. He looked her in the eyes. As much as it pained him he knew wit was the proper thing.

"Cosette? It is getting dark, child come inside," a voice came.

"My father," she said, "I must leave."

"Think on what I have said," Marius said kissing her hand.

She rushed inside. Her father noticed her eyes were red and her face flushed.

"My child, are you quite alight?" he asked concern in his eyes.

"No papa," she replied. She intended to tell him right then.

"Do you feel ill?" he asked.

"a bit," she replied. Which was not a lie. It rattled her inside and she could barely stand there without crying. If only Marius was here to help her explain.

"I think it best that you go to bed now," he said matter of factly.

"You are right papa," Cosette said.

Valjean took his hand and placed it on her forehead, "You do not seem to have a fever but a nights rest will do you well. "

"Papa?" she asked. She was going to tell him. Right now, she would tell him her secret and she would feel better.

"Yes? What is it?" he asked her kindly, placing a finger under her chin to tilt her face up so he could see her eyes.

"I…" she stumbled.

He just nodded encouragingly.

"I left my shawl out in the garden," Cosette decided to say, "I shall fetch it now."

"Do not worry. Go to bed I shall fetch your shawl," he said oblivious to her fib.

It was true she had left the thing, but what hit her was how cowardly she was acting. _Cosette you are being a child! He is your father, he loves you!_

She bid him good night and went upstairs. The night was fretful. She tossed and turned and sleep did not come. She knew it was best to tell him but how. Would it crush him? What If he was angry and they moved away? In school she had met a few girls whose parents were so displeased with them they were sent to the convents. She was sure he would not be angry but the disappoint meant would kill her. She had vowed long ago to be the most dutiful daughter.

The next morning after waking from a short sleep she realized it was nearly 10. Oh god, this would be worrying for her father. She was always an early riser. He surely did not wake her because he thought her ill or in need of rest. Just then she heard a knock.

"Cosette are you awake?" he father's arm voice said, "May I come in?"

"yes," she called.

He came in with a tray. The tray he only used when Cosette was sick _oh god he thinks I'm was sick._

"Papa, I am not ill," Cosette stammered.

"This may be but you need rest. These few days you have looked unwell," he said softly.

"Ill be up in a moment you needn't worry," she said removing the blankets.

"Not today," he said coming over, "you will be staying in bed today. You need to rest."

Her father never put restrictions on her unless he thought it necessary.

"But…" she said before being cut off.

"No buts. As your father I think it best you stay in bed for the day. Later on you may get up but until supper I wish you to rest. I worry about you," he said firmly.

He set the tray on her lap and told her he would be downstairs if she needed anything. He left and she looked at the tray. The tray had porridge, tea, apple and a small piece of toasted bread with jam. The food was sickening; she could not bear to eat any of it with her mind in a mess.

She drank the tea and picked at the apples. When her father came back to take the dished he noticed how little she ate.

"Cosette. You really should try and eat something," he said "Does this not suit you? Can I make you something else?"

"I know I should eat. I'm just not very hungry," she said. She decided to eat a few bites of porridge to calm his fears. The porridge tasted good but it turned to glue in her mouth. Finally she chocked down 5 spoonfuls and her father was satisfied.

"Rest now. I will be back to check on you a little later," he replied closing the door.

Cosette was still thinking. What was she to do? She knew she would have to tell him, but how much would the truth hurt him? The man who had taken her in and showed her every kindness, deserved to know.

"I'm going to tell him. Next time I see I him I will tell him," she whispered. Maybe if she said the word they would be binding and then she would have to.

She got up and went to her desk, if she was going to tell him she was going to be prepared. She took her journal and a pen and began writing. She was going to plan out every word, so she wouldn't stumble or see the wrong thing. Maybe she thought, write him a note and simply leave it for him while she pretended to sleep. It would be easier but she knew that wasn't the proper thing.

 _Dearest father_ _Dearest papa,_

 _I_ _write you_ _wish to inform you something most dire. I have been keeping from you something that I know is wrong but necessary for you to know. I have these few weeks been seeing someone in_ _our_ _your garden…._

She stopped then, writing was useless. Writing was just as hard as saying it. So she returned to bed.

Then her father knocked. Cosette looked up then at the clock she kept on her night stand and saw, it was now 2:06. It had been three hours since her father had left her.

"Love?" he called, "May I come in?"

"Yes papa," she called. She hoped he hadn't heard the tremble in her voice.

He opened the door and saw her up out of bed. He gently ushered her to bed and tucked her in. he then pulled a chair next to the bed.

"Papa?" she asked, she had to say it now. She climbed out of the covers and sat up stick straight.

"Yes, my pet?" he answered. He placed his had on her forehead to check for any nonexistent fever.

"I wanted to talk to you. If you had a spare moment that is…" she said trailing off. She hoped he was busy but whatever would he busy with?

"I always have a moment for you. What's on your mind?" he said which was what she was afraid of. Of course he had a spare moment, he was always there ready to listen.

"Please do not be mad, but I have a confession."

"I would never be mad at you pet," he said. Of course, he was never angry with her. His eyes were looking at her, now convinced something was truly wrong.

"I've been seeing someone," she said slowly, watching his reaction. Cosette should have known that her father was able to keep his emotions hidden and only show what he wanted to show. He sat there still rubbing her hand but something in tightened in his neck.

"I swear to you nothing happened, we only talked," she continued, "it started a few weeks ago. After that argument we had. I ran into the garden and there was a man."

"A man Cosette?" he said stiffly. It wasn't the sneaking out that bothered him the most, it was who the man was. Javert?

"Yes a young gentleman whom I had laid eyes on earlier that day," Cosette murmured.

"And what? Did he follow us home?" he asked.

"I do not believe so. I cannot say how he found me but he has been ever so wonderful to talk to," Cosette said before biting her tongue. _What did that sound like? How horrible! It must it sound that I do not enjoy my papa's conversations with me!_

"I see," he said looking at her.

"I swear by all things holy and good, that we did nothing sinful or anything that would bring you shame," Cosette said desperately.

"Cosette. I trust you. If you say it, it must be so," he said.

"But how could you trust me after I have been sneaking out these few weeks?" Cosette asked.

"We are family. Family is built on trust," he said weakly. She knew his response was only meant to comfort her. She knew some piece of trust was broken and could not be fixed.

He sighed, "You told me now and that's all that matters. Is this was has been eating you up?"

She nodded.

He let out a long sigh. _Thank god she wasn't sick._

"Are you angry now?" she asked timidly.

"No. Never," he said rising from the chair.

"Papa pleases, I am so sorry! It was wrong; I know lying to one's parents is a grievous sin. You do not have to pretend to not be angry. You have every right," Cosette said getting up from bed and following her father. "In fact if you through me out right now I would not blame you! I deserve any anger you have."

"Child," he said looking into her blue eyes, rimmed with tears, "This news has shaken me a bit. I will never send you away, I made that promise when I first found you. Forgive me but I must pray and think on this."

"Oh," Cosette said. This was her father's typical response to anything shocking and so to find that this news shocked him enough that he needed to pray, made her feel worse.

"Here," he said, dabbing at her eyes, "Crying will do nothing now. What matters is you told me."

"Yes papa," she said dutifully.

"Go back to bed. I will be back later, when I have a clearer mind," he said kindly.

Cosette just nodded and walked back to her room. She knew he was not angry, but the obvious disappointment killed her more than any yelling could. He always went into his room before he said anything serious.

She was not in her room and pacing back and forth. She was so anxious for her father's response.

Meanwhile her father was praying.

"Lord, please help me understand this situation. Lord I know Cosette is alone a lot but for her to find someone in a most improper fashion. She must know this is scandalous and I have worked so hard so that she lives a pure life," he said solemnly.

But he could understand. She had always been obedient and it was his fault. He kept her shut away from his own fear. It was only natural she would want a companion. In her life she had never had a friend, she never entertained guests. How could he feel betrayal when he failed her? He had told his mother and she would want for nothing, but she clearly wanted something.

But here was also the matter that she would need a husband. He in his late 60s. once he was gone she would be left alone and she would not let her to fall like her mother did. She had no way to make her way in the world. Whether he liked it or not, this man clearly meant something and he knew Cosette was smart. People took her to be a fool but she was wise beyond her years. She understood people deeper than most.

So he decided he should meet this boy before passing judgment. But she had been seeing him for a few weeks, how was he so oblivious. She must have felt something because she did tell him. But he had hoped she would come to him sooner.

He rose from his place and walked slowly to her room. It was like a death march. Cosette was still pacing and immediately stopped.

"Please papa, I have decided I must bid the gentleman goodbye. It is not wise, I know. You are all that I need. I was selfish for wanting more," she said bowing her head.

"No child. I realize you are quite alone. You may enjoy my company but you need someone your age. Girls your age court or have friends," he said hesitantly. He didn't want to admit it.

"Please, I know it is best I never speak to him. I see how it hurts you," Cosette rushed.

"No. I shall be the judge of this. I wish to meet him. If you think him decent he must be so," he said rubbing his forehead.

"Do you mean it?" Cosette perked up.

"Yes. But Cosette I am not happy how you met this boy. Sneaking out, I know I am not always the most approachable in these matters." Valjean wished so much she had a mother, her mother would understand these sorts of things. He had never courted so he had no idea of young love.

"I know papa. I should have told you but I feared you thought me a ungrateful daughter. I thought you might send me away. I realize now that you never would," Cosette sighed in relief.

"I would never. But I am disappointed that you snuck out. I want you, this Sunday during confession to think on this. After that we shall forget it. Yes?" he said kindly.

"Yes papa, anything for you."

"I would like to meet this boy tonight if possible." Valjean said heavily.

"Yes, I shall leave a note for him," she said going back into her room. She emerged with a letter and went to the garden.

But he never got the chance to meet this Marius. He noticed police outside and heard screams. It sounded like Cosette and he rushed to find her. She was just coming back inside.

"Cosette we must be gone. We must leave," he said.

"But papa," she sputtered.

"Say no more. We must live another day. Get dressed will you?" he said rushing about to get their things packed.

Cosette had experienced this before. Hurriedly packing and leaving. She quickly changed from her nightgown into day clothes.

Soon they were in carriage. She hoped the letter she left told him she hadn't intend to leave him. She was so close to having her Marius and so close to Marius meeting her father. But fate wouldn't let that happen and now she was on her way to England.

Valjean's heart ached, how his child lit up. But now he had to take her away. If he would have he would have stayed and met this boy. But safety before all else.


End file.
